Milestones & No Buy Reflection

This past weekend, I attended convocation for my graduate certificate, with my parents in tow and friends who were receiving their Bachelor’s degrees. I hadn’t been back to the campus since 2019 (the certificate was done online), and the wave of nostalgia was real and alive. I used to set aside part of my semesterly visit to the campus to stop by the bookstore and buy more school “merch,” whether t-shirts, water bottles, rugby jerseys (it’s a whole thing), or winter wear, something new was coming home with me.

The school has a strong culture of “hand it down to the next generation,” so much of my decluttering of school shirts – particularly those with slogans that only make sense on campus – has gone back to people who will use it. Though, much of that culture stems from having bought so much in the first place.

This time around, the only new item I left with was a frame for my certificate. More accurately, my parents bought it as a gift, so I made no new purchases over this weekend. But it was interesting to see how many opportunities there were for buying something along the way: the bookstore is usually closed on Sundays and has reduced hours on Friday and Saturday, yet was open the whole weekend (understandably so, especially for anyone who hasn’t been back to the campus in two years); tables were set up in the convocation venue to purchase degree and grad photo frames, stuffed mascots in grad gear, and class rings; there were tables on both floors by the main entries to purchase flowers; and the sports complex had their team gear store open as well. I understand that part of this has to do with tradition (we give flowers as congratulations, but why?), but much of it felt like enabled impulse purchases. I can’t even remember if we’d bought anything at my 2018 ceremony (same university), not in the sense that I think we left empty-handed, but more so that if we had bought things, I have no recollection of it.

Much of how my family celebrated was experience-based – we chose the nicer hotel for comfort (and its spa), we knew which restaurants we’d enjoy most in the area and went back to them, I got a bunch of photos in grad gear – rather than me receiving physical gifts. To be clear, I’m not judging anyone who left campus this weekend with the fanciest frames for their photo and degree, a new alumni shirt, and a handful of other school spirit items that can remind them of their shortened time on campus – I get it, fully.

What I want to question – reflect, muddle, whatever – is why we associate milestones with stuff. I’ll be honest and say that even before the no-buy, I was a big fan of practical gifts or consumable items. Perhaps that comes from a place of privilege that I have all my necessities (or make do with reasonable alternatives) and I have the spare money to cover needs and wants as they come up. I get that “traditional” gifts for milestones – cookware for a wedding, a full toolbox for your first apartment (maybe that’s just my family, though), driving lessons or a car at 16, etc. – are reflective of the next chapter the person is going into (a baby shower is definitely helpful for the family’s first baby, but much of it can be reused amongst cousins and younger siblings, no?). I understand, too, that we’re all looking for reasons to celebrate after making it through 2+ years of the pandemic, but “stuff” was still available through online ordering.

I know that different traditions and cultures will approach celebrating milestones in different ways, and my perspective is a reflection of what is culturally common for me versus what I’m questioning. I guess what I’m trying to get at is that were I not on a no-buy this year, I would have set aside an entire portion of my budget just for this past weekend. Knowing my past shopping habits, I would have likely bought anything that said “Alumni” on it, home décor items for my apartment, and anything else “cute” from the bookstore. I didn’t buy new clothing, jewelry, shoes, accessories, or make up for the weekend, which is a 180-degree difference from my first convocation. “Shopping” my own closet also meant that I could wear anything fancy that has been waiting to be worn, and I wouldn’t have to worry about something arriving on time via shipping.

I think this post it more like a guided reflection than anything else – look at what I’m doing differently, what do I still want to ponder – so there might not be much of a “point” to it, but it’s been rattling around in my brain for a week. Thanks for reading!

June Goals

So, here we are at the mid-point of the year, and I still have no bought anything from the no-buy list. My approach still seems to be working, so let’s dive in on the goals:

Clothing:

I mentioned in my May review that there are two things that have been on my mind for a while – navy blue shoes and a slip – and I want to see if, by the end of the month, there are enough instances where either could have been used to warrant adding it to the wishlist properly. I’ll be honest, with how high my arch is for both feet, I don’t know that I would feel comfortable buying second hand shoes, but I’ll worry about that as I get closer to the end of the month. For the slip, I want to do more research on if there’s anywhere within in Canada that makes them/look into what I want specifically from the garment before thinking of purchasing it.

Books:

June is a bit of a travel heavy month (a different city each weekend, for different reasons), so I want to rely on e-books for while on the road, and then have a physical book to read while I’m at home. I’m currently reading “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki as an e-book through Hoopla, and my physical book is “Scottish Customs, from the Cradle to the Grave,” by Margaret Bennett. I bought the Scottish customs book back in 2020 from the National Museum of Scotland, and it’s definitely about time that I get started on it.

Using what I’ve Got:

I still do my agenda according to an academic year, since I take classes here and there and my work cycle follows it as well. With that in mind, I got my new agenda for Christmas (how’s that for planning ahead?), and I want it to be ready to go come July – rather than planning in July – which would include writing in major functions throughout the year, when my holiday weekends are, deadlines to keep track of for applying to grad school, and anything fun along the way. I want to make the best use of the planner stickers I have, especially with being able to plan things out more cohesively throughout the year, rather than feeling like I’m scrambling to keep up with myself each week.

Other than that, I’ll be moving to a weekly schedule for the time being – and I’m still figuring out next week’s topic, so stay tuned 🙂

May in Review & Empties + More!

This month both dragged on and got away from me, somehow, but the busy is not over yet.

First off, goal review:

Clothing: Everything from the summer bin has made it onto hangers or into drawers, and that’s a win for me. Rather than going through every item and adding it to the tracker book, I thought it would make more sense to add items as I wear them – which will make the book more chaotic, but I also feel like it’s a better use of my time to focus on what I’m actually wearing. Approaching it this way, I think, will also let me flag the items that don’t get worn, since I won’t be flipping through pages on pages to find what I’ve only worn once.

Books: My reading has been quite off and on this month – while I was able to finish the O’Keeffe book in no time, I felt like I needed a break overall from the topic of art history and from the format of the books (I’m not saying that the artists’ lives coming to an end was wearing on me, but most of my non-fiction doesn’t end on end-of-life topics). I’m going to choose one book at a time for now, and I’ll say what’s next in Thursday’s post for June goals.

Using what I’ve got: The cards were a hit with the students – they thought it was a lot of fun to be “invited” to the activity, so it was definitely a “good” use of the item.

Onto Empties:

This month, there was more “refill the tin” for tea, and then the rest of it was regular, “these have been emptied out.” I’m on the fence about how much of everything I still have left: should I be pleased that my prediction in January that I won’t need anything at least until June was correct, or should I do a deeper reflection on the consumerist habits that got me to this stockpile in the first place?

The “More”:

I have two points to address, first about the wish-list, and then about scheduling for posts.

  1. Wish list: Though there isn’t anything “new” that has caught my eye and met the parameters set in January, I have been ignoring the fact that I’ve had a small list of items that I’ve been cycling through considering and ignoring over the last few years. For the most part, these would be counted as “basics,” like a slip to wear under a dress, or items that fit well with the rest of my wardrobe, like a pair of navy flats or lace-up shoes – considering how much navy blue I wear and that I like my looks to be monochromatic. On the one hand, these are thoughts that have come up again and again – I think the slip has been on my mind for at least 5 years – so maybe they’re worth getting/asking for as gifts, but on the other hand, I’ve gone this long without them, so how much do I really “need” them? I dunno, it’s a wishlist, not a needs list, so I’m a bit stumped at the moment.
  2. Scheduling: I think for the months of June and July, I’ll keep it to one post a week. I’m going to combine outgoing and upcoming monthly goals into one post, and pair empties and bye-bye bin as another, so that I can still have two other posts on different topics. As for August, I’ll be working in a live-in language learning accelerated course, so I think I’ll take the month off for posting. This may change if I have time over the summer to plunk down and type out a handful of extra posts and just schedule them, but I also want to give myself the freedom to not work and be more present. Either way, we shall see.

I’m Not Buying It

While a lot of what has gone into my continuous efforts to have a successful No Buy have been internal factors (will power, avoiding temptation, motivation), there’s been one major external factor that I wasn’t fully expecting back in January: the rate of inflation.

Canadian shoppers are somewhat in a less great position for purchasing power, since anything imported will cost more, and the Canadian dollar is not as strong as the American dollar. Even for some things that are made in Canada, to buy new will still be fairly expensive. Granted, I’m no economist, and my observations are strictly based on what I’ve seen while in different provinces.

Anyhow, what I’ve been thinking about for a while (last two months or so) is that there’s no way I can justify spending X amount of money on clothing when the prices have jumped so much – regardless of my no-buy status. I’m not picking on one store or another in making this post, but to see the cost of a recycled material dress of a basic cut and style go from $39 to $49 is ghastly. Ghastly but helpful (to me), as I’m much less willing to throw that kind of money around. Perhaps this is the same as how it’s easy to spend $3-$5 a day on a coffee and treat on the way to work, but if you were shown the total amount for a month, you might be less inclined to spend it. Which, for the record, you absolutely should be allowed to treat yourself, things are tough enough as it is, you don’t need to deprive yourself of simple joys.

Before I go any further, I do want to address that I am fortunate enough to not technically be impacted by the change in prices for clothing. I haven’t bought any new clothing in a year, and my last time thrifting was in October 2021 – and despite my trickle of decluttering, I’m certainly not wanting for options to dress myself. I realise fully that this may not be the case for someone who has children, whose body is changing, or can only justify buying clothing when items are falling apart.

I’m also at a point in tracking my clothing that still nothing has reached 30 total wears (including my running shoes!), so it’s not like I need anything new. Even though we’re 5 months into the year, I still haven’t reached a justifiable point of needing something for clothing – and I think that slow pace of consumption (the opposite of an impulse buy for me) has made it all the more visible how much more expensive something is since the last item I bought in person was under $10 (and under $40 online). Had I still been buying when the same type of dress went from $39 to $42 to $47 to $49, I don’t think it would strike me as as much of a jump.

I feel like I have some more digging to do on the topic, particularly in light of where the low prices are coming from that I would previously be drawn to (as in, who is being cheated out of a fair living wage along the way), and what else I can learn about and the decisions I make to reduce my need for buying more – including learning what a quality garment looks like and where to find them once needed.

Later this week, we’ll have a look at my empties for the month – and next week I’ll be having a check in on my May goals. Thanks for reading!

May Bye-Bye Bin Deep Dive

It feels a bit early to post about what’s leaving my home in the sorta-middle of the month, but I have a clothing/product swap coming up, and I wanted to get photos of what’s on its way out. There are also two items – a black bodysuit and a bottle of body wash – that have found new homes already and won’t be in the post.

For these 17 items, two were pulled from the summer bin during the season flip, and nine were pulled from my various drawers – all of which have not been worn this year. The scrunchies, pillow cases, and jewelry were pieces that I’d been on the fence about for a bit (as in, each time I looked for something else in their storage spot and saw them, I’d go “hmmm…”) and figure now’s as good a time as any with the upcoming swap. Also, I want to note that the clothing is kept bundled up not for disrespecting the clothing, but more so that I understand that a solid chunk of my readership belong to the no/low buy community and I don’t want to have the items incite desires to shop.

I have a few things to highlight for the “why” of a piece being decluttered, which I’m doing for my own sake for rereading in the future and for the sake of making sure I’m equally intentional about what leaves as what comes in.

  1. The impulse buy: The grey shorts and matching tank top set in the top middle was part of an impulse order, and these items were specifically added to meet the minimum to get free shipping. But get this, the store had run out of my size, so I sized up, placed a second order, received it, and realised I wasn’t likely to wear it with it being the wrong size. I’ve worn the shorts and tank top as a set a few times on really warm nights as pjs (I wasn’t planning to wear this set out of the house, mind you) – but my thought process behind purchasing them was “this is cute,” rather than “this fulfills a need I have within my closet.” This was purchased last summer, so just about a year ago – though, if nothing else – it shows the progress I’ve made in mindset.
  2. The attempted upcycle: The striped shirt to the right of the grey set and the blue and grey dress under it are next. Both are basics from Old Navy (a striped shirt and a swing dress), and both managed to get stained from one art project or another. I thought tie dye and bleach dying would be the way to spiffy them back up, buuuuut I took a “just do whatever” approach rather than planning out what it was supposed to look like, so I ended up with pieces I didn’t love (mind you, now that I think about it, I’ve never liked how my tie dyed pieces look…). Are they still wearable? Absolutely – there’s nothing structurally wrong with either piece, but I certainly wouldn’t wear them in public, and I already have enough “wear around the house for cleaning only” clothing that I don’t need more.
  3. The collection completer: The tan shorts in the bottom left are also from Old Navy, whose shorts fit me well enough for the most part (inseam is usually the kicker for me, I’m 67% leg and quite tall). The shorts I bought in 2019 include a bunch of neutrals – olive, navy, black, grey – and one striped pair. Being as pale as I am, buying anything tan online is a complete gamble as to whether it will entirely blend in with my skin. I’ve referenced this in an instagram post before (referring to a shade of pink for leggings that would leave me looking undressed), and it’s not a serious issue by any means, but, again, this was an instance of my motivation for purchasing the item being something other than meeting a need I have for my wardrobe. For the record, the “need” I justified in purchasing these shorts was, “I want a full set.”
  4. The swap find: While I fit in “straight” sizes for clothing, finding items that fits properly from thrifting and clothing swaps is not always successful (which is no different than trying on clothing in a store, just to be clear!). The Adidas running shorts were found last year from a clothing swap between friends, and I’ve since found shorts that fit me better and cover me more – so to a new home they shall go.

I don’t know that I’ll do as deep a dive for each bye-bye bin post in the future, but if there are pieces that fit these patterns, I think it would be worth it.

Next week I’ll be back with my empties for the month on Monday and a goal reflection on Thursday. Thanks for reading 🙂

Changes I’ve Noticed

So there’s been positive changes that I’ve been documenting so far – haven’t bought any clothing this year! haven’t spent money without being aware of my budget! haven’t bought from any of my other no-buy categories! – but I need to be realistic about “areas of improvement” that I’m noticing as I’ve gone past the 6-month mark of not buying any clothing (if we count from the soft start in November).

For one, I’m still on my phone more than I would like to be. In 2022, that’s a bit of a nebulous statement since we use our phones for so much, but I mean it in the sense that I’m not being intentional about my phone use. Watching youtube videos to clear out my “watch later” playlist, reading an e-book, or listening to a podcast while out for a walk or doing chores don’t fit into unintentional use – I’m setting out to do something and my phone happens to be a tool to complete part of the task. Where I end up losing track of time is generally through social media, particularly Instagram’s explore page – made worse by having both my personal and my Lady with Less account to scroll through. I want to highlight that I’m not saying I feel like I’m wasting time taking in content from fellow no-buy, mending, and outfit repeat accounts – you’re actually all so inspiring, just saying – but specifically the explore page is where I can lose more than an hour of my day (minimum). I know there are ways of having your screen-time limited within the app, but if I’m already in the middle of reading or watching something, I usually just hit “ignore” and go back to whatever content was on-screen.

Which leads in nicely to my next point: getting enough/better sleep. I already have a weird sleep schedule for working second shift and being on call during the night, and I’ve strongly identified with being a night owl for most of my life (I was maybe 8 the first time I stayed up until midnight outside of New Year’s Eve to satiate my curiosity of what happens when the alarm clock goes from 11:59 pm to 12 am on a normal day). Some nights, I’m falling asleep by the time midnight rolls around, but there are others where 2 am comes and goes and then I’m fighting against the melodious squawking of the early birds greeting a new day. If I’m able to follow my routine to a T, particularly that I fit in some time to read before bed, rather than scrolling, my sleep is significantly better. Pardon the tangent, but I want to point out a win: this time last year, my endless scrolling wouldn’t have been nearly as aimless and at the whim of the algorithm, but I was instead surprised by the sudden light of the rising sun after losing 2-3 hours to going through every page of the stores I spent the most money on. So, while there’s growth in that I’m no longer midnight shopping, stores would run out of content eventually, while the explore page does not.

Finally, sugar. My skin gets worse, my body hurts more, and I don’t feel great (overall) when I backslide into snack-y comfort food for meals on end as opposed to something more balanced. I didn’t study nutrition in university, but I know my body well enough at this point to recognise what my patterns are – and what reactions correlate to my actions. I generally don’t buy anything sugary of my own (I am a Montrealer, so I will always have at least some maple syrup at home), but my workplace has a generous snack supply that we can take from as we please. If I’m not getting enough sleep over a few days and things are quiet at work, I’ll grab something to munch on, since the kitchen is right by my desk. It’s almost like no one part of my life exists in a vacuum and everything is connected (pardon the sarcasm).

For me, it’s reached a point where saying, “I need to be more intentional about XYZ” has almost lost its meaning since I’m going through things too quickly (real talk, I haven’t used my planner in three weeks and have instead relied on daily post-its around my monitor screen). I need to give myself that time and work through what’s working and what isn’t, and make small adjustments rather than sweeping statements about massive change. I also realise that the focus of this blog is about the no buy, but I feel as though the no buy touches so many areas of my life that there’s grounds to bring up other areas that I want to work on as well.

To close with another win, in all of my endless scrolling, I’ve still been seeing ads for the clothing stores I like. I don’t have them blocked for the sake of knowing I can see them without losing the plot, and the unexpected benefit has been that I’ve seen spring/summer items over the last two months, and I feel nothing. It all is just the same florals and pastels that I have something similar to in my closet, and the cuts of the sleeves and skirt lengths on the dresses are the same, too. So, if nothing else, this check in coinciding with switching in my spring/summer clothing has highlighted how little I need more clothing.

May Goals

Let’s jump right in!

Clothing:

It’s finally warm enough here to switch out my winter clothing for my spring and summer stuff. Usually, I have a habit of shoving the new seasonal items into my closet alongside the fall/winter clothing, but I want to try reducing the visual clutter of items I know I for sure won’t wear between May and September. I also have my spring/summer clothing to go through, both for the sake of decluttering, but also for adding the items to the clothing tracker (which I’ll split up bit by bit – even doing some 20 items a day is a chore). I don’t think I need to make a point of specifically aiming to wear everything throughout the month (it’s definitely not quite shorts weather yet), but I want to instead see what I’m most drawn to.

Reading:

Art history still seems to be keeping my attention well enough, so I’ll keep going for it with more Taschen books. I happened to have finished the Matisse book over the weekend, and had already pulled Georgia O’Keefe to read, so I’ll just be adding Keith Haring for now. If I happen to finish both, I’ll see what I’m feeling – mythology? ancient civilisations? fashion? fiction? – and choose from there.

Using what I’ve got:

For my financial literacy courses, I have an activity planned for them this week which is focused on price comparison in the context of different groceries charging more/less for the same items. To make it more fun, I’m including the instructions of the activity in some of the cards from my stationary box that I don’t think I’d use otherwise (it won’t be all of them, but it will be a solid dent in the pile). The intention is for the cards to feel similar to an old-school dinner party invitation, with the double purpose of the design on the front of the card being how I split up the groups (i.e., everyone with a blue card will be in the same team).

If I have the time this week, I’ll have a look at stages of change & shopping habits – and if not, that will be next week’s post!

April in Review

I feel like this month has flown right on by, but I’m also doing my review a bit earlier than usual. Anyhoo, let’s get into it:

Clothing:

I’ve managed to wear just about everything that I’ve set aside as my visual cue for not being worn yet for shirts and dresses. In keeping up with my tracking on a semi-regular basis, I’ve noticed entries for earrings and a few pairs of pants I hadn’t worn yet – which allowed me to experiment a bit more than I probably would had I only been focused on shirts and dresses. Fun bonus, two of my outfits of unworn items got compliments at work – even though both were outfits I’d been hesitant about wearing (hooray for perspectives other than my own!). The items I haven’t gotten to wear are not season appropriate – two burgundy/red dresses are much more fall/winter, and one frilly black and white dress is too late spring for the rain we’ve been having.

Books:

Finished both of them in about two weeks, and now I’m slowly getting through the Matisse book from the same series. Reading before bed has been the easier choice for now, though I suspect if I maybe put my phone down more during the day, I might be able to squeeze in some reading time, too.

For Fun Money:

Without messing up my budget, I’ve found ways to have fun – well, in the future. I booked a flight to go visit with friends from university during the summer in the US, and then take advantage of attending a Just For Laughs show while I’m in Montreal for the rest of the summer. These both factor well into my budget, and I managed to squeeze in a bit of “treat myself,” with a stop at bulk barn after going to the bank, and stocking up on some of my favourite chocolate. All in all, goal well met.

Next week, I’ll have my May goals ready for you – and depending on my workload, I just might dip my toes back into some psychology and shopping. Thanks for reading!

April Empties & Bye-Bye Bin

It’s been a bit since I last had a look at my empties and I’ve been making some progress in using up my stuff. I realise I hadn’t included an update here for March, so you get a two-fer this month:

All the empty tea pouches are from topping up the tins I have, while the empty tin is from finishing off a tea entirely (pardon the extra text on the first picture, I had to pull it from my instagram stories – this is a one-person blogging team). For the soaps, I finished the last of my bar soap that I used for travelling last month, the lip balm was finished a few days ago after fighting to get the last of it out from the bottom of the tube – and the liquid soap was emptied within around a month (which I include to answer my own question from my last post).

For the bye-bye bin, there’s not as much this month (only 3 items), though I suspect that number will be much higher as I swap in my spring/summer stuff and set aside the long-sleeved and bulkier items.

The French phrases book has been sitting on my reference shelf for about 3 years, and I’ve never once used it as a reference for students in tutoring – I’d either explain the answer to their question, or the student would look it up. The yellow tin is ready to find a new home, as I know if I have more tins, I’ll find a reason to fill it with yet another tea (also, I’m back to an even number of tins, so there’s that too). The dress acting as the background to the flat lay was an impulse purchase last year from an online thrift store that just doesn’t fit right.

While there’s still nothing on my wishlist, I do want to bring it up for the sake of sharing a change in how I’m thinking: there isn’t anything yet on the list since I genuinely don’t need anything, so I’m going to treat it more like a restock “limbo,” where I keep an eye on the stuff I’ve emptied and see whether I actually need more. There aren’t any categories that I’ve emptied out entirely yet, so it will likely be a few months before I have anything to add to the list.

Later this week, I will be looking over my April goals, though for the next few weeks (to May 19th or so), I’ll be aiming for one post a week while I’m leading a budgeting and financial literacy course with students in a local school. Thanks for reading!

Psychology and Shopping: Ideal & Real Self

Figuring out who you are is a big question, and inherently relies on comparing yourself to other versions of yourself or to others. Your answers to that question may have some elements that are fixed while others change over the course of your lifetime. A common exercise in social psychology/sociology classes is to answer the question “Who am I?” 20 times over. How you choose to answer this is going to be a mix of what comes to mind first, what you value most, maybe some insecurities you have (“bad at math” was common amongst the social science students in class), and some demographic information when you start to run out of ideas.

Another thing to consider when thinking about who you are is how close you are to being who you want to be. There’s a lot to unpack from that as well, so I’ll keep it simple by working with “real” and “ideal” self. “Real” is, simply enough, who you are right now, for better or for worse. This is who you see yourself as, and can be a combination of your perception and what others give you as feedback of who you are. “Ideal” is who you are striving to be, whether within realistic reach or beyond what you could ever do. I don’t mean that in a defeatist way, there are limitations to what we can do – or what we care to do, just as much as we all have our strengths and passions. I like to learn through visuals, so we’ll compare how low and high overlap of “real” and “ideal” self can play out.

In our first Venn diagram, there’s not much overlap between “ideal” and “real.” We aren’t going to make any other assumptions about this sense of self – my blog posts are long enough on average, so we’re not going to try to unpack level of happiness, feelings of self-worth, sense of success, or anything else, we’re sticking to just what’s in the circles. So, there’s minimal overlap between “real” and “ideal,” which means that, to this person, there’s a lot of catching up to do for them to be their ideal self. What can influence this is the types of messages they’re exposed to and whether they choose to internalize these messages as faults/failures they need to change.

For example, you likely don’t internalize the types of messages we see in pop-up ads or spam mail (the “dermatologists hate her!” type), but you may be more inclined to consider listening to or heeding the advice of someone whose opinion you value – even if you weren’t aware of the “issue” in the first place. The more and more things or abilities that get added to the ideal pile that you don’t already possess, the further gap – or more minimal the overlap – will be between “ideal” and “real.”

The second Venn diagram has much more overlap. Who this person wants to be and who they are is mostly consistent. This could be someone who manages the number of messages they choose to internalize, someone who is able to fulfill their goals/enact their values, or someone who may see the value in their faults and how it makes them human which in turn is included in their “ideal” view of themselves.

You can reasonably expect that the gap and overlap will change throughout your life. There can be parts of yourself that you’ll (almost always) value, and other parts that used to be “ideal” but either no longer fit your lifestyle, or your goals and responsibilities have changed. How this can be a factor in shopping habits is whether the aspirations you have can be fulfilled through shopping/physical items. If you feel the need to follow specific trends or fads to feel like you belong with a specific crowd, there are likely items or fashion staples that you would need to purchase to “keep up” with everyone else. This can be related to hobbies as well (a topic I’m coming back to later this month), where to get into certain hobbies and the lifestyle that surrounds it can lead to a lot of money being spent for the sake of getting “in.” Granted, you would absolutely need to buy a kayak to get into kayaking, but for other hobbies like table top gaming or crafting, my experience has been that there’s an undercurrent of gatekeeping if you don’t own a bunch of stuff or specific brands related to the hobby.

For a personal example, when I got hired after university, I felt like I needed to overhaul my entire wardrobe for it to be work appropriate (despite having pieces that would have been fine to wear at work), which resulted in a shopping spree in preparation for entering “the real world.” I internalized that I needed to look a certain way for work, spend a chunk of money to emulate that look, and four years later, own only a handful of those pieces. On the other hand, I was in the later years of high school (16 years old) when Silly Bandz were a thing, and I saw no value in purchasing any despite most people I knew having at least some and otherwise being the type to like the idea of having a complete collection. The “need” for these items were not internalized at all, and I largely forgot about them short of watching a YouTube video about 2010s trends and fads.

It’s been a long while since I’ve last done my 20 “who am I” questions, though I’d wager that what my focuses are now are less geared toward fitting into specific groups – especially through status symbols – and more about liking who I am and what I bring to the table.